I finally finished!

I've been reading this book for probably six months now and I'm ecstatic to say I'm finally finished. It was a fabulous book full of stories about this unique character through the eyes of his best friend. I'm all into these religious ties in life so that's probably why I enjoyed it. Definitely recommend reading it though. I just want to share this one quote from it that struck me for some reason. "If you care about something, you have to protect it-- if you're lucky enough to find a way of life you love, you have to find the courage to live it."
Anyways its new years eve and I'm getting together with my bestest east coast friends minus payonk who's staying in the Poconos and will be missed. It should be a blast. I've missed them all so much.
HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL!

RIP Grandma LaRue

Today is the 20 anniversary of my grandma LaRue's death. She died a little over 5 months before I was born from diabetes. Today my parent's and I went to NYC to go to MOMA. We stopped at a diner right off of times square and my mom mentioned this to me. She said when she attended her funeral the bishop was talking about how her soul and mine were probably meeting in passing. I've always felt an strong connection with that name although not knowing the person it was passed on from. I feel that without knowing her we do share something more than blood. Hopefully I carry on her name honorably. One day I hope to pass it on to one of my children, I think it is so pretty.
Above is a picture of Christmas Meadows in Utah. My father's family used to go up there in the summertime as kids. They continued the tradition on as they grew older and after LaRue passed. In more recent years the siblings began to bring their children. I have been lucky enough to experience the magic of this place.
We would stay for somewhere between 2-4 days. There was a lot of fishing and card playing. One year my dad and I walked up and down the river fishing and we stopped at this one bank to have a snack... I remember they were those strawberry fruit snacks. He talked about staying there as a kid in a cabin across the river that a family friend owned instead of the campground where we then stayed. He rarely talked to me about life with his family because he is different from them and doesn't like to revisit some of that past. He spoke of how his mother rarely came out to fish but he remembered her one day just across the bank. And he pointed and this wind blew and hit the grass right where I had imagined her standing. He told me how she didn't get out there to fish with the boys often but when she did she enjoyed it.
It's my dad's favorite place in the world and possibly mine as well. Hopefully we can make it back there soon and I know grandma LaRue will always be watching us fish there.
I wish that this holiday season my dad's family could mend their relationships not to be an incredibly close knit family but to at least have no anger towards one another. If not for the sake of each other than at least for my grandpa in his last years and lord knows LaRue would have wanted it as well. Rest in peace grandma you are missed.

I need you at the dimming of the day

Confused.
Can't even discribe how I've been feeling lately.

The only things I feel like doing are eating, running, reading and singing.

I've rediscovered slippers.
Found an old pair and I'm wondering why I haven't been wearing them for the last few years. They are wonderous.

I need to get out of this house.
I'm getting irritable and restless. I need to explore. I miss taking pictures.

Tomorrow I'm going to see Dreamgirls with Tannah. It looks promising but lets hope we haven't built it up too much.

I can't even wait for New Years. Lots of good friends are gonna be there. See you all soon.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

I figured it was time for some pictures again....so I chose a select few that are quite entertaining. This is Linny with her new coach bag from her friend Caitlyn from home and dad in his new San Diego Zoo apron and me in my shirt from somewhere that I can't remember right now in the mid west....presents from Grandma and Ned.
Here's the fam before the Seahawk/Charger game in our new attire sent to us by Aunt Holly.
Here's are cute tree and our stockings hanging from a shelf.

So this was our first Christmas in Pennsylvania because last year we flew to San Diego for the holidays. I must say it's been different but that's what I've loved about it. Everyone has there traditions and although we have certain things (like pjs on xmas eve) every year is a new surprise and that's what I love! Everyone enjoy your holidays and know that if I haven't seen your face recently I'm thinking of you because I miss all my family and friends terribly! SMILES :)

I've relied on my illusions to keep me warm at night

While you may think that the reason I haven't been writing is because I've been busy but oh contrary my friends. My life has been nothing but gift wrapping, eating, exercising, movies, and puzzles. I've barely left the house except for the occasional run with one of my doggies.

Drama....a five letter word that no matter how distant you are from a situation or how small the drama it can still find its way into your life. Amazing how that works.

I miss my friends.

It's relatively easy for me to slip back into the hermit ways I knew for so long till I moved out of the clouds. Though this is true I wish it weren't because I am happiest when I'm discovering new things/places/people. Next week I'll get out more.

This Christmas I'm approaching with a different attitude than last year. Last year was a transition. This year it's almost like home and I'm gonna take it for what it is.....a time with family since that rarely happens anymore. I'm luckier than most and I know it so I really have nothing to complain about.

Yesterday was winter solstice which makes me think of my brother. He now celebrates the winter solstice after abandoning his Mormon ways many years ago. Happy Winter Solstice brother.

I'm off to the new mall with my sister for some presents for the parents and who knows what else. If only I could drag my sister out of the house before 1 but that's not happening. \

Still waiting for that snow.
:P

MY SISTER COMES HOME TODAY!!

Enough said. :)

Singing = (:

First off this couple in this movie (The Devil Wears Prada) are possibly the cutest ever. I really should start watching Entourage so I can see more of Adrian Grenier and the Pivs is in that and I LOVE the Pivs.
There was a shopping extravaganza in the new SaconValley Mall today and my mother and I were the lead of it. I ran into Ashley in Sage where she told me she got a job and few weeks ago there and was still living in the cliffs. Just so all you cliff residents know there are still quite a few cars there surprisingly enough. So mum and I went over to the LVM afterwards and got stuck in traffic for a little over an hour..should have taken about 20 min. Instead of giving into the boredom and frustration...I popped Carrie Underwood in the Cd player and sang my little heart out with a smile (:
Since I've gotten home all I've wanted to do was take a hot tub, swim in my pool, or a long hot bath. Unfortunately all these things are just teasing me every time I walk by. Tannah suggested that I just stick my foot out but I'd like to share something with you all......I have the flexibility of a Rhino partially because I raked leaves forever and worked out yesterday. The muscles are tight.
So I'm off to start on this Christmas puzzle we got today. Oh the White family tradition of puzzles. But I will always have a White Christmas........now how many people can say that?
(actually quite a few but thank my dad for that wonderful 'dad' joke)

Learning to deal with questions that can't be answered

My dad is a leaf nazi.
You know how when parents ask you to do stuff you usually end up dreading it but in the end realize it's not so bad? Well that was the case with this....for awhile. I got some good thinking done that I probably would have suppressed until another time and it added to the exercise I'm attempting to get done this holiday season. Then after raking the entire side of the yard my dad straps on his little backpack and blows the beds down looking like a little boy ready to take off with his jet pack. So I had to further clean up the yard. Don't worry dad I'm always happy to help but I'm allowed a little complaining.
So I've been using this time for a little self discovery and sorting out thoughts. I have some friends that could never be in a relationship they didn't potentially see lasting forever. I used to think I was that way but I've come to find....I'm not. So I ask you this...is it OK to be in a relationship where both people have major doubts? Does what you could learn from each other out weigh the potential heartache and pain? My conclusion.....is that I think to damn much and what does it matter. This is now. I just want to have fun.
Justin Timberlake was on SNL last night! Too funny.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=bkKyn1Hpqs
Gotta love him.
Watching movies and eating and relaxing for the rest of the day.
LATER

Home for the Holidays

I'm officially home for a month. I'm starting to realize this is a good thing. I need some time to myself. My parents are having a holiday party for the people my dad works with tonight. The house looks beautiful! On the plus side if I get too bored I saw a bottle of Jack and some other liquors that could come in handy. It's always weird to come home to a house that was never really my home. I've spent a total of about 6 months in this house in my whole life...kinda weird. I'll post pictures tomorrow. Goal for the holiday: EXERCISE I've been neglecting that badly since I've been busy but now I no excuse. Don't worry people it's not because I think I'm fat I'm incredibly comfortable with my body. Anyways I'm looking forward to this time for sorting things out and exploring new places around here. Can't wait for my lil sis to come on Tues. Best of luck to all you north westerners who are struggling with no power and strong winds. It'd be cool to see some snow here soon. Nothing like flurries to make a girl smile. Ok I'm done with the corniness. Friends if you are trying to call my phone realize that it's really shitty and I get no reception in these woods. Try other ways of contacting me. Happy Holidays everyone!

gotta love paychecks

So I went to withdraw some money for my yearbook dinner last night and although I had recently transferred some of my savings into my checking account I knew I was at about 400 bucks. I got the recite and it said 800 dollars. Later that night I found out we had recieved our paychecks for yearbook this semester. I am extatic right now that I get 400 bucks for putting together this yearbook which does take up a lot of time but I enjoy doing it. What a life, seriously. I should be studying for art history and bio right now but my mind is not in study mode. I'm gonna work on forcing motivation upon myself right now.
You make me :)

Holidays, dogs, and tattoos

This was the cutest movie I've seen in a long time. I loved it. So many cute moments between people whether it was father/daughter, woman/little old man. So worth watching I can't wait to see it again. We even got to eat Taco Bell after it was a good night.
Look at that face. I woke up this morning and walked down the stairs and that cute little face was staring at me. I swore I was in the wrong house for those few seconds it was just me and the dog but this would have been difficult since I wasn't drinking last night and I know I went to sleep in my own bed. Then Jen came around the corner and explained it was her friends dog, Roxy. So I decided to watch her and she crawled under my bed and curled up and ever once in awhile made a whine just to remind me that she was there and needed some attention. She's here till 4 and I must say it's making me miss my puppies so I'm glad I'm going home in a few hours to do laundry and see my pups.
This is my new tattoo. It's the OM symbol and it hurt and I love it. I'm only sad that I can't wear my new heals tonight to the yearbook dinner. Shame.Well I'm excited for this week because I only have two finals and I'm sad to say see ya later to some people but at least I'll see them again. Enjoy your finals week all.

Shirts with no sleeves....eww

It's Friday and I'm done with all my art finals and next week I only have two finals on WED.!
So why not write a random blog. By the way I was completly wrong about LOST. I said Ethan was the same guy that Kate was going to marry in one of the recent episodes and I will admit that I was not right. Sad.
So I have this thing about shirts with no sleeves. I think they are UGLY. They remind me of old men with beer bellies and mullets....bad combos right there. So stay away from the dreaded no sleeve shirts.
Alright HAPPY WEEKEND everyone!
Keep smiling :)

My dad told me i shouldn't be like him...so I'm trying my best

I'm stressed.
I successfully avoided the feeling for some time now but thanks to my neurotic friend Jenna told me I was being to ambitious for our 3d project. Granted she was right but it got a little overwhelming when I realized the lack of time I have to finish my projects and paper this week.

Oh man that completely freaked the shit out of me...I was supposed to turn my paper in through turnitin.com but I finished it yesterday and why I didn't turn it in then I don't know I'm a screw up what can I say. So I emailed it to her she's pretty understanding so hopefully it won't be a big deal.

Anyways I have all this stuff to do this week and not all that much time to do it but it seems like the time that I usually do have gets wasted because I'm not a very productive person. When it gets down to the wire and it's stay up late or sleep....I ALWAYS choose sleep. There's more to life than little petty things.

Trying to figure out my living situation for next year with out ditching friends or spending too much or potentially driving myself crazy for another year. I'm sure that will sort itself all out eventually.

I need a break from this using your brain thing...it's draining.

I fucking hate this chocolate yogurt commercial...it makes me want to get rocks and throw them at the ladies heads on the screen.

Time for sleep cuz I'm up as early as I can in the morning to finish my project that's due wed. and gotta make a trip home for that to pick up some stuff.

We're so different and I'm still trying to not let that freak me out.

Happy sleeping under the full moon y'all.

World AIDS Day

Today is world AIDS day so take a moment to think about how lucky we are that we live in a country where we have access to prevention methods against AIDS. It's also the beginning of December and the weather is still warm...who would have thought. I think I'm gonna where my inspi(red) shit today.

I'm proud of myself for writing some of my bio paper and all too happy that I didn't go to classes today. Starting tomorrow I'm being productive and motivated but tonight is for living it up. Pour me a glass of wine.

I miss singing. I haven't been doing enough of it.
I could go for chai tea!

I'm not into labels and I'm glad what we've got is nothing forced what will be will be will be...if that makes any sense. Although I feel like I still don't really know you.

Sometimes I feel like expect too much out of life.

I'm starting to look forward to winter break there's so much I wanna do. It'd be cool if we got some snow sometime in the not too distant future.

SMILES to all

Fly into the light of the dark black night

SO much to do and not enough time.
I used to be so calm and relaxed about stuff but lately the little things are starting to stress me out. Things that don't really matter take on greater meanings than I'd like. I think it's just because it's the end of the semester.
As stressed out as I am I'm not really looking forward to going home for winter break. Holiday's here are just a little lacking compared to past years. I mean I love my family but it's like a limited portion of the people I consider to be a part of my family.
Speaking of family, my sister will probably be moving to San Diego next year and then eventually my parents and I'm not completely sure I want to do that. I would love to be near my cousins, their kids, my aunt and grandma. So my latest and greatest idea is this: Road trip with Stacey across the country to San Diego...live in an apartment and get a job...when my sister graduates she joins me in the apartment and gets a job as well. Oh my god I'm so freaking excited I hope it works out!
Projects galore in the art world and I think I'm being a little over ambitious but might as well take chances. It's the time to learn. I love learning. I'm so curious about things.
Distractions are difficult to deal with...conflicting feelings. Gotta sort um out.
All I can say is Kal Ho Naa Ho!

I guess you're just what I needed

So the trip to the west coast was wonderful!
I got to see a ton of people I haven't seen in awhile and missed a few I would have really liked to see. Never a dull moment on the island. So I have a ton of pics but I'm just gonna put a few up.

So these are the people I spent Thanksgiving with. From left to right for those of you who don't know them : Chelsea (linny lives in her room now) , Linny (my sissy), Jackie (my childhood buddy), Me, Kristie (middle smith child who I've always had the most in common with), Lauren (the smith's cousin), Olivia (The youngest smith)
Yummy dinner at Wild Ginger with the whole family. Me, my brother Johnny, and my sister Linus:)
I just had to put this pic up because I love that painting and I think my mom looks gorgeous!
That's all for now folks:P

You give me something

So this is the infamaous FROG ROCK for those of you east coasters that don't already know.
The parents and I went to Battle Point yesterday and saw the duckies.
Parents at the park...aren't they cute?

Gorgeous day at the park.Walking down the stairs at my old house to the beach. Oh how I miss this.
My favorite view! Too bad the clouds are covering the mountains. Wow what a good life I had here.
Mom and Dad shocked at what the new people did with the backyard.

And here she is herself. My old house. It's decieving it's gorgeous once you pass that gate in the back on the right. Memories are so weird. I love it here but I'm glad I don't live here anymore. Be back to the east soon. I miss all my friends. Jenny is coming home tomorrow though!

Somewhere between a memory and a dream

So this is where my sister lives now. It's beautiful and she seems very happy so I'm happy for her. I was so excited to see her and I know she is happy to see me but sometimes it's really hard to tell. I miss her all the time and I hope she feels the same way too. We've been through a lot in our relationship and I can only hope that we will remain friends throughout our lives but I feel like we just continue to grow apart. I don't even know what her favorite things are any more.

This is the lovely home of my second family...The Smith's ... this is where I spent so much of my childhood. For those of you who don't already know that.
Here's my fam. Aren't that cute!

Mom and Cathy and that kitchen where I will be spending Thanksgiving Day!
Well until next time loyal readers.
Peace AAAAND Love.
That was for you STACE.

Don't forget about the blue skies, sunrise, and all the space between

The beautiful Mt. Rainer from the plane.

I'm HERE!
Lack of sleep. Long day of travels.
Children under the age of 10 should not be allowed to fly on planes. I guess they could allow for them to be put in a straight jacket and duck tape there mouths...but only if they tie them to the seats as well.
The Devil Wears Prada, was a cute movie though.
Luckily we ran into some cool girls on the ferry ride over.
It's amazing how driving around the streets and eating at old restaurants now has a completely different feel to it. This is not my HOME anymore. I love it here and I hold a special place for it here but it's a memory more than a future. I'm OK with that.
I'm missing Thanksgiving dinner with all my friends tomorrow but it looks like there's drama going on with that so maybe it's for the best. Can't wait to find what this week holds in store for me. I get to see my sister tomorrow! Stay tuned for more to come.
<3 miss you already

Tornado WARNING

Severe weather in Eastern PA today. Although it's warm it is blowing and raining and I LOVE it. The only downside is I have to go to class in a couple hours and I can't stay home and enjoy it from indoors.
Look at that sucker he's getting pretty close to my window;)

So I just wanted to say, I have the best friends. I love talking to all of them and I love that they are always there for me. Best of all I have friends all over the country and although some of those westcoasters are far away and we lose touch it's always so much fun when we see eachother again. I am SO incredibly excited to go home! There are some people I'm gonna see that I haven't seen since I graduated and I've missed them. So hopefully it works out to see them.
Remember these days! 4 more classes and a test and I'm FREE!

I guess nothing is black and white with us artist types

I need my space and time to figure out stuff.

I got an e-mail from my mom this morning encouraging me to check out her friends son's website. He dropped out of college a few years ago and has been pursuing his music career and living in NYC. Kudos to him for having the guts to follow his dreams. So check Adam Richman out at www.myspace.com/AR . He has some very interesting views on politics in the world today... many of which I agree with.
Anyways I'm supposed to be writing a paper right now but of course stuff that needs to get done is usually the last thing I want to do.
All I want to do is drive around the back roads here and take pictures of the gorgeous country side before all the leaves are gone. My camera and I seriously need to spend some more time together I'm going through withdraw.

Gotta date with a plane in 4 days:)

Dish week: just one more thing to add to my list of stuff to get done before TURKEY DAY!!!

I went home Saturday night to do some laundry and eat some good homemade food. My house is too pretty around this time of year so I had to take a few pics and show you all.

BUBBA!

Side view of my house. That's my window up there in the top right corner.

The back of my house.

Lazy Sunday

5 days of school. so much get done. not enough time.

It's amazing what a difference a year makes. I'm in such a better place this year than I was last. I'm all smiles this year and haven't been stuck under those clouds like I have so many years past.

I love my friends even though well all gossip and talk shit about eachother. In our little neighborhood nothing is a secret but whatever...live and let live.

So as advised by John Mayer I'm listening to this british singer James Morrison right now and I gotta say I really like him. He's got this raspy bluesy voice.

So Friday Stace and I drove down to KOP and went shopping. I got the cutest hat that I probably won't take off for the next few months. We ate some sushi for dinner and just before the drive home we stopped at STARBUCKS and I drank a chai tea (oh how I miss starbucks). On the way back we got stuck in traffic and it took us a good half hour to go 5 miles...good thing I don't get stressed about stuff like that. Stacey and I had a good talk about life and religion. Shout out to Gwen for all those fun religious talks we have...and guess what I'm taking a class about religion next semester.
So in a few days I will find myself back on my home coast and I am beyond excited to be overwhelmed by green trees and rain. Can't wait to see eveyone!

9 days and tomorrow is FRIDAY!

9 days till I get to see this lovely girl. Even though we have our differences and we don't always get along I miss her smiling face.

I get to see these lovely ladies too. I'm so freaking excited.
It was such a gorgeous day today. Who knew it would hit 65 in November. It's supposed to be beautiful this weekend too. So much to do still before I'm offically free but tomorrow I'm forgeting that and Stacey and maybe Tannah and I are going down to King of Prussia for some shopping, movies, and good food. Friday's are the best. Thanks for reading and commenting all you friends from all around the country. I love you and hopefully those of you I haven't seen in awhile I will see very soon.
Keep smiling :)

Democracy is a wonderful thing!

So today is election day and I feel it's my duty as a citizen to vote. Not only because it is one time where you can make a difference in your government but also because I was raised by my feminist mother and well educated on the struggles on women's suffrage. So anyways my mom and I drove out to Hope Community Church in Fogelsville so I could cast my ballot. We met this cute old woman named Victoria who we found out lives a few streets over from us. What a small world. She was so cute though and she told us how she cross country skis around our area....we talked about all kinds of stuff. Finally we got to the front of the line and I stuck this little card in tha machine and voting for all my liberal buddies :). It's weird to live around so many conservatives since I was raised in pretty much the opposite environment. My mom being the cutest freaking thing ever took my picture out side the church to document today.

Cheesy smile and all.
11 days!and I'm on my way.

And the coutdown begins

I have this thing about reading my horoscope...it's not that I truely believe in it but it's amazing those days when you read it and it just hits home...so here's mine for today.
You don't have to know what the end result will be -- just keep putting one foot in front of the other and have a little faith. (Of course, a lot would be even better for your morale.) You'll get to the proper destination for you.

So it's been awhile since I've written. I've been incredibly busy. My tendencies to procrastinate and live one day at a time are being supressed so as to get everything done before I check out early and head back to the land of the liberals and green trees. Last week went by so fast and this one will too because it is so packed full of stuff to do. There are officially 13 days left until I'm on that plane and able to see all my friends and my little sister. Although we don't get along all the time I'm beyond excited to see her.
I have about 13 hours left to study and far too much to do in that time...so of course I'm off to take a hot tub with my mum before I get some work done.

Meet My ROOMIES!

This is Jen. She's not just the typical tall hot blond. She is really busy with soroity stuff sometimes and we miss her. Right now the poor girl feels sick and I feel bad. Jen like's snowboarding and is always up for a good dance party in the living room when we have wine nights. We are failing bio together. She's a pyshc major and she can pretty much read your mind. Keep smiling Jen and feel better.

This is Steph. She likes to pretend she's a dirty pirate hooker. She's never afraid to be herself and sponatneously yells about things she's excited about. We have good convos in our living room that usually end up with one of hysterically laughing. She could watch Finding Nemo everday and probably not get sick of it. Jack is her squishy and they are quite possibly the cutest thing ever. Basically Steph should one day be model. Keep that face in mind and you know you'll see it sometime in the future.

This is Stacey. She's my wine buddy. She likes art and never fails to find design flaws in anything and everything she sees. She's pretty much paranoid that everything is always gonna go wrong...but that's why I'm here to lighten up her pessimistic views. Stacey's the mom and rarely a day goes by without one of us refering to her as mommy Stacey. Stacey and I like to make barfing noises to things we don't like and make it sound like Chunk from the Goonies. Careful boys she's taken at the moment. She's gorgeous, tall and skinny and always up for a good convo about the most random things.

This is Tannah she's not really my roomate but she was last year. She's more of an honorary roomate and she uses that futon in our livingroom more than anyone else. She likes beer, pizza, and bagels. She likes to laugh at my stupidity and I at hers so it's all good. I don't see enough of her anymore but this weekend she'll be around and by around I mean not really mentally there but at least she'll be here in costume. YOU AND YOUR PIZZABAGELS!

These our our pumpkins!From left to right...Stacey, Steph, Me, Jen. HAPPY HALLOWEEN everyone...well almost.

Sweet call of the countryside...october road

 
 
 
 
It's so beautiful here in the fall...I don't think people who live here realize that but it is. I went home thursday to let my doggies out since the fam is all out west and I grabbed a cherry soda and walked around the yard while the dogs ran around, they were so happy to see me. Eventually I found myself sitting on this bench that looks out across this hills and rusty came to sit with me. There was a hawk just soaring around and it smelled like fall...you know that cold crisp smell...i love it. I'm at such a good place right now and while sometimes life's hard I'm so blessed what is there really to complain about.
We had a wine night here last night just the roomies and T it was fabulous. It turned into a dance party and of course I had to whip out the lawnmower. What is it about dancing that just so freeing:). Tonight we are going to see Jason Mraz should be a good time. oodles of Smiles:)