Livin in the clouds

It's Thursday night after after a few stressful days beginning the semester of classes.
Me and the non 21 year old roommates are sitting around the apartment sulking.....I've already downed a few glasses of wine to dull my senses but it seems to still be slightly eating away at my happiness. Tannah and I are seriously contemplating the ownership of a fake id. The drinking age should seriously be 20 I'm mature enough to drink. Other than that I'm just frustrated with stuff...too much to do. Plus I have discovered the reason for the incredibly slow computer I possess. There is NO memory or ram....gotta figure that out another time.

Although I'm excited for my classes maybe more so than ever other aspects of life seem to be dragging a bit.

I miss the hustle and bustle of San Diego. I miss life buzzing around me everywhere.

The grass is always greener though. Unfortunately.

I just talked to my sister and I'm super proud of her determined nature. She's been working 14 hour days with 2 jobs. Good for her little face. Hopefully she can come hang out with us soon!

Tomorrow I'll be alone in this apartment until Tannah drags her ass back here to accompany my sorrow. So much for the future being brighter....mines looking pretty grim but I'm trying to keep my head up.

life at 527

I figured it was time for a new blog and a little update on life. So much has been going on.

I am officially moved back into the cliffs. I've missed the girls so much. I am always laughing. We are totally unmotivated this year to unpack but we've been making progress. Tannah and I left a almost everything on the floor for the first few days and numerous people came by and screamed when they saw how messy it was. Now it's cozy though and decorations are up all over the house. We'll add more later.

I'm still getting used to it all though and there's plenty of things I'm decided to omit from this blog cuz I don't feel like sharing too much. Plus I'm just trying to figure my own head out at this point.
Classes start tomorrow and I'm a little less than excited but it'll be something to do.

Our fridge is stocked full of food
We made tacos and rice for dinner
Watched wedding crashers and the holiday

it's a full moon and it hasn't been so crazy like these days usually are for me so that's a plus

When I get older losing my hair many years from now

My grandma called me today...

it seems she misses me already...

and I must admit I miss her as well.

Tannah and I had a conversation about what kinda of old people we'd like to become. We both decided along the lines of my grandma rather than a shriveling existence of the classic grandma.

There's so much I want out of life that sometimes I feel I expect too much. I just finished watching Becoming Jane. It was the supposed story of Jane Austen's life. The ending was horribly sad and made me cry. One thing I've expected out of life for as long as I can remember is to find true love. But what if that is not in store for me? As I watched the movie something struck me in my gut where only deep emotions do. I went through the love and loss and love and loss of her meant to be and I couldn't help feeling...

'What if even knowing that love never happens to me?'

But why is it that I'm so anxious to find it? I know I am capable of being on my own rather well and I quite enjoy it most of the time. But I want someone to know things about me even I don't realize and I want to know someone that well too.

But I guess for now all I can do is dream.

I'm Alive

I woke up this morning clicked on the TV to the usual Dawson's Creek drama then flipped channels for a few hours until I settled on a Gilmore Girls episode. It was the episode when Rory goes off to college. In a little less than 3 weeks I'll be moving back to school. What a weird feeling it was the first year I moved to school. I was so scared. I no longer need my parents like I did then but of course I still need them for some things but it's nice to know I can live on my own. Now moving back is going to be like going home. I'm so excited for this year. It's going to be busy but fun too.

3 days until my family comes! Till then I'm making my own fun because I've realized that's the best thing I can do. Life's what you make it. Yesterday I went to the bay to sit and read and walk along the shore. I've been trying to get myself out there and I'm glad I finally did.

As I was getting in my car to leave Gwen called me and we met back at my house and then drove out to Balboa and walked around....I love it there it's so gorgeous.

Theater

Gwen by the lillypads

Artist studios and galleries :)

Can't wait till Friday <3

Ever So Grateful

Hello loyal readers. I know it has been a few days and in the recent weeks my writing has been less. I'd like to say it is because I have been busy but that would be stretching the truth just a bit. Since I've been done with work I spend my time focusing on the now...or at least I have been able to accomplish this ever so large feat in the past couple days. It is strange how it takes knowing you are going to lose something or in fact losing something to bring out those appreciative emotions in you. The time I have spent here is irreplaceable. I have gotten to know my family and they have finally been able to see the me that speaks...haha. Most of all I have spent some quality time with some special little babies who I have seen grow into the cutest little boys.
It is amazing what can happen in 3 months.
I cannot even believe it has been that long. But before I head back to the other coast, I have some days to enjoy here and some sun and surf to eat up. My family comes in a week! Oh I how I miss them.
I did not realize how much I needed to be here until the past few days. The drama and negativity were weighing me down. In the process of getting swept up into that life I had lost myself. I am happy to say I am found again. Not only that but I have faith in myself again, in my ability to survive independently...well at least emotional...we will work on that financially thing in the future. I am looking forward to so many adventures this upcoming semester but before then I have some champagne to drink in celebration next weekend, some dancing to do, some quality family time, and some relaxing fishing with my pops.
Much love to all my readers who stick with me through my roller coaster of life.
<3