I finally finished!

I've been reading this book for probably six months now and I'm ecstatic to say I'm finally finished. It was a fabulous book full of stories about this unique character through the eyes of his best friend. I'm all into these religious ties in life so that's probably why I enjoyed it. Definitely recommend reading it though. I just want to share this one quote from it that struck me for some reason. "If you care about something, you have to protect it-- if you're lucky enough to find a way of life you love, you have to find the courage to live it."
Anyways its new years eve and I'm getting together with my bestest east coast friends minus payonk who's staying in the Poconos and will be missed. It should be a blast. I've missed them all so much.
HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL!

RIP Grandma LaRue

Today is the 20 anniversary of my grandma LaRue's death. She died a little over 5 months before I was born from diabetes. Today my parent's and I went to NYC to go to MOMA. We stopped at a diner right off of times square and my mom mentioned this to me. She said when she attended her funeral the bishop was talking about how her soul and mine were probably meeting in passing. I've always felt an strong connection with that name although not knowing the person it was passed on from. I feel that without knowing her we do share something more than blood. Hopefully I carry on her name honorably. One day I hope to pass it on to one of my children, I think it is so pretty.
Above is a picture of Christmas Meadows in Utah. My father's family used to go up there in the summertime as kids. They continued the tradition on as they grew older and after LaRue passed. In more recent years the siblings began to bring their children. I have been lucky enough to experience the magic of this place.
We would stay for somewhere between 2-4 days. There was a lot of fishing and card playing. One year my dad and I walked up and down the river fishing and we stopped at this one bank to have a snack... I remember they were those strawberry fruit snacks. He talked about staying there as a kid in a cabin across the river that a family friend owned instead of the campground where we then stayed. He rarely talked to me about life with his family because he is different from them and doesn't like to revisit some of that past. He spoke of how his mother rarely came out to fish but he remembered her one day just across the bank. And he pointed and this wind blew and hit the grass right where I had imagined her standing. He told me how she didn't get out there to fish with the boys often but when she did she enjoyed it.
It's my dad's favorite place in the world and possibly mine as well. Hopefully we can make it back there soon and I know grandma LaRue will always be watching us fish there.
I wish that this holiday season my dad's family could mend their relationships not to be an incredibly close knit family but to at least have no anger towards one another. If not for the sake of each other than at least for my grandpa in his last years and lord knows LaRue would have wanted it as well. Rest in peace grandma you are missed.

I need you at the dimming of the day

Confused.
Can't even discribe how I've been feeling lately.

The only things I feel like doing are eating, running, reading and singing.

I've rediscovered slippers.
Found an old pair and I'm wondering why I haven't been wearing them for the last few years. They are wonderous.

I need to get out of this house.
I'm getting irritable and restless. I need to explore. I miss taking pictures.

Tomorrow I'm going to see Dreamgirls with Tannah. It looks promising but lets hope we haven't built it up too much.

I can't even wait for New Years. Lots of good friends are gonna be there. See you all soon.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

I figured it was time for some pictures again....so I chose a select few that are quite entertaining. This is Linny with her new coach bag from her friend Caitlyn from home and dad in his new San Diego Zoo apron and me in my shirt from somewhere that I can't remember right now in the mid west....presents from Grandma and Ned.
Here's the fam before the Seahawk/Charger game in our new attire sent to us by Aunt Holly.
Here's are cute tree and our stockings hanging from a shelf.

So this was our first Christmas in Pennsylvania because last year we flew to San Diego for the holidays. I must say it's been different but that's what I've loved about it. Everyone has there traditions and although we have certain things (like pjs on xmas eve) every year is a new surprise and that's what I love! Everyone enjoy your holidays and know that if I haven't seen your face recently I'm thinking of you because I miss all my family and friends terribly! SMILES :)

I've relied on my illusions to keep me warm at night

While you may think that the reason I haven't been writing is because I've been busy but oh contrary my friends. My life has been nothing but gift wrapping, eating, exercising, movies, and puzzles. I've barely left the house except for the occasional run with one of my doggies.

Drama....a five letter word that no matter how distant you are from a situation or how small the drama it can still find its way into your life. Amazing how that works.

I miss my friends.

It's relatively easy for me to slip back into the hermit ways I knew for so long till I moved out of the clouds. Though this is true I wish it weren't because I am happiest when I'm discovering new things/places/people. Next week I'll get out more.

This Christmas I'm approaching with a different attitude than last year. Last year was a transition. This year it's almost like home and I'm gonna take it for what it is.....a time with family since that rarely happens anymore. I'm luckier than most and I know it so I really have nothing to complain about.

Yesterday was winter solstice which makes me think of my brother. He now celebrates the winter solstice after abandoning his Mormon ways many years ago. Happy Winter Solstice brother.

I'm off to the new mall with my sister for some presents for the parents and who knows what else. If only I could drag my sister out of the house before 1 but that's not happening. \

Still waiting for that snow.
:P

MY SISTER COMES HOME TODAY!!

Enough said. :)

Singing = (:

First off this couple in this movie (The Devil Wears Prada) are possibly the cutest ever. I really should start watching Entourage so I can see more of Adrian Grenier and the Pivs is in that and I LOVE the Pivs.
There was a shopping extravaganza in the new SaconValley Mall today and my mother and I were the lead of it. I ran into Ashley in Sage where she told me she got a job and few weeks ago there and was still living in the cliffs. Just so all you cliff residents know there are still quite a few cars there surprisingly enough. So mum and I went over to the LVM afterwards and got stuck in traffic for a little over an hour..should have taken about 20 min. Instead of giving into the boredom and frustration...I popped Carrie Underwood in the Cd player and sang my little heart out with a smile (:
Since I've gotten home all I've wanted to do was take a hot tub, swim in my pool, or a long hot bath. Unfortunately all these things are just teasing me every time I walk by. Tannah suggested that I just stick my foot out but I'd like to share something with you all......I have the flexibility of a Rhino partially because I raked leaves forever and worked out yesterday. The muscles are tight.
So I'm off to start on this Christmas puzzle we got today. Oh the White family tradition of puzzles. But I will always have a White Christmas........now how many people can say that?
(actually quite a few but thank my dad for that wonderful 'dad' joke)

Learning to deal with questions that can't be answered

My dad is a leaf nazi.
You know how when parents ask you to do stuff you usually end up dreading it but in the end realize it's not so bad? Well that was the case with this....for awhile. I got some good thinking done that I probably would have suppressed until another time and it added to the exercise I'm attempting to get done this holiday season. Then after raking the entire side of the yard my dad straps on his little backpack and blows the beds down looking like a little boy ready to take off with his jet pack. So I had to further clean up the yard. Don't worry dad I'm always happy to help but I'm allowed a little complaining.
So I've been using this time for a little self discovery and sorting out thoughts. I have some friends that could never be in a relationship they didn't potentially see lasting forever. I used to think I was that way but I've come to find....I'm not. So I ask you this...is it OK to be in a relationship where both people have major doubts? Does what you could learn from each other out weigh the potential heartache and pain? My conclusion.....is that I think to damn much and what does it matter. This is now. I just want to have fun.
Justin Timberlake was on SNL last night! Too funny.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=bkKyn1Hpqs
Gotta love him.
Watching movies and eating and relaxing for the rest of the day.
LATER

Home for the Holidays

I'm officially home for a month. I'm starting to realize this is a good thing. I need some time to myself. My parents are having a holiday party for the people my dad works with tonight. The house looks beautiful! On the plus side if I get too bored I saw a bottle of Jack and some other liquors that could come in handy. It's always weird to come home to a house that was never really my home. I've spent a total of about 6 months in this house in my whole life...kinda weird. I'll post pictures tomorrow. Goal for the holiday: EXERCISE I've been neglecting that badly since I've been busy but now I no excuse. Don't worry people it's not because I think I'm fat I'm incredibly comfortable with my body. Anyways I'm looking forward to this time for sorting things out and exploring new places around here. Can't wait for my lil sis to come on Tues. Best of luck to all you north westerners who are struggling with no power and strong winds. It'd be cool to see some snow here soon. Nothing like flurries to make a girl smile. Ok I'm done with the corniness. Friends if you are trying to call my phone realize that it's really shitty and I get no reception in these woods. Try other ways of contacting me. Happy Holidays everyone!

gotta love paychecks

So I went to withdraw some money for my yearbook dinner last night and although I had recently transferred some of my savings into my checking account I knew I was at about 400 bucks. I got the recite and it said 800 dollars. Later that night I found out we had recieved our paychecks for yearbook this semester. I am extatic right now that I get 400 bucks for putting together this yearbook which does take up a lot of time but I enjoy doing it. What a life, seriously. I should be studying for art history and bio right now but my mind is not in study mode. I'm gonna work on forcing motivation upon myself right now.
You make me :)

Holidays, dogs, and tattoos

This was the cutest movie I've seen in a long time. I loved it. So many cute moments between people whether it was father/daughter, woman/little old man. So worth watching I can't wait to see it again. We even got to eat Taco Bell after it was a good night.
Look at that face. I woke up this morning and walked down the stairs and that cute little face was staring at me. I swore I was in the wrong house for those few seconds it was just me and the dog but this would have been difficult since I wasn't drinking last night and I know I went to sleep in my own bed. Then Jen came around the corner and explained it was her friends dog, Roxy. So I decided to watch her and she crawled under my bed and curled up and ever once in awhile made a whine just to remind me that she was there and needed some attention. She's here till 4 and I must say it's making me miss my puppies so I'm glad I'm going home in a few hours to do laundry and see my pups.
This is my new tattoo. It's the OM symbol and it hurt and I love it. I'm only sad that I can't wear my new heals tonight to the yearbook dinner. Shame.Well I'm excited for this week because I only have two finals and I'm sad to say see ya later to some people but at least I'll see them again. Enjoy your finals week all.

Shirts with no sleeves....eww

It's Friday and I'm done with all my art finals and next week I only have two finals on WED.!
So why not write a random blog. By the way I was completly wrong about LOST. I said Ethan was the same guy that Kate was going to marry in one of the recent episodes and I will admit that I was not right. Sad.
So I have this thing about shirts with no sleeves. I think they are UGLY. They remind me of old men with beer bellies and mullets....bad combos right there. So stay away from the dreaded no sleeve shirts.
Alright HAPPY WEEKEND everyone!
Keep smiling :)

My dad told me i shouldn't be like him...so I'm trying my best

I'm stressed.
I successfully avoided the feeling for some time now but thanks to my neurotic friend Jenna told me I was being to ambitious for our 3d project. Granted she was right but it got a little overwhelming when I realized the lack of time I have to finish my projects and paper this week.

Oh man that completely freaked the shit out of me...I was supposed to turn my paper in through turnitin.com but I finished it yesterday and why I didn't turn it in then I don't know I'm a screw up what can I say. So I emailed it to her she's pretty understanding so hopefully it won't be a big deal.

Anyways I have all this stuff to do this week and not all that much time to do it but it seems like the time that I usually do have gets wasted because I'm not a very productive person. When it gets down to the wire and it's stay up late or sleep....I ALWAYS choose sleep. There's more to life than little petty things.

Trying to figure out my living situation for next year with out ditching friends or spending too much or potentially driving myself crazy for another year. I'm sure that will sort itself all out eventually.

I need a break from this using your brain thing...it's draining.

I fucking hate this chocolate yogurt commercial...it makes me want to get rocks and throw them at the ladies heads on the screen.

Time for sleep cuz I'm up as early as I can in the morning to finish my project that's due wed. and gotta make a trip home for that to pick up some stuff.

We're so different and I'm still trying to not let that freak me out.

Happy sleeping under the full moon y'all.

World AIDS Day

Today is world AIDS day so take a moment to think about how lucky we are that we live in a country where we have access to prevention methods against AIDS. It's also the beginning of December and the weather is still warm...who would have thought. I think I'm gonna where my inspi(red) shit today.

I'm proud of myself for writing some of my bio paper and all too happy that I didn't go to classes today. Starting tomorrow I'm being productive and motivated but tonight is for living it up. Pour me a glass of wine.

I miss singing. I haven't been doing enough of it.
I could go for chai tea!

I'm not into labels and I'm glad what we've got is nothing forced what will be will be will be...if that makes any sense. Although I feel like I still don't really know you.

Sometimes I feel like expect too much out of life.

I'm starting to look forward to winter break there's so much I wanna do. It'd be cool if we got some snow sometime in the not too distant future.

SMILES to all