Movin On

In the last two nights I've been involved in some pretty intense games of pictionary. I hadn't played in forever and it was fun.
TGIF seriously
The beginning of my weeks are so crazy but now I'm free to relax. That is after I go get my computer fixed....so I might be computer less for awhile. And after I stop into work to meet Katie the photographer :)

TONIGHT: Lover noggin party
Out for some good food (who knows where yet)
Movie (probably nanny diaries)
and then party at home (wine probably included and def a hot tub involved!)

EXCITED I AM. (and apparently yoda today too)

Happy weekend :)

Sometimes it's hard to come by that feeling of peace

Things are generally good.
There's so many exciting new things happening how could they not be.
I'm going in to meet the photographer at work this week. I'm free from negativity....at the moment. I'm generally excited about school and my photo project coming up. I'm busy so my thoughts can't linger from what I have to get done.

I'm concerned about someone though. That they are never gonna be able to be their full self. That one day they will wake up and realize this life they've always had planned doesn't make them happy. I cannot tell this person what to do because it is not my decision to make but I hope in time they are able to change their perspective on this slightly and realize if this is what they truly want. I know that me along with many others only want the best for them.

I have this complex about me. If I find out that someone was bothered enough to tell someone else about something I've said to them or done...it bothers me to no end. It means whatever I did irritated them enough to repeat it...it's still fresh in their mind or playing over and over. Come to me if I'm bothering you people I don't do these things intentionally.

As for you. I know you say you don't read this anymore so that gives me the more reason to write things. I still care about you a lot and hope that we can remain friends. But this is gonna take me a bit to find out how to be your friend. I haven't allowed myself to really think about this till I found myself snapping at people and they attributed it to this situation. I'm alright until I let myself think about it too much. And lord knows it will be difficult once we are in the same room again but I'm not thinking about that now. I have too much to do.

But for now it's just time for breakfast.

just keep swimming

It's been a while since I've written because everything going on in my life is too personal to just ramble about it on here. There have been a lot of ups and downs in my life lately.
Last night my sister came out here for a party. It was so fun. Out here she's the one person that gets me completely. I'm so glad we've been able to get closer and bond lately and that her life is moving in a good direction and she seems so happy.

Still waiting on that phone call to get started with work.
For now I'm still taking it one day at a time and trying to sort out my feelings.

just can't stop thinking

I couldn't fall asleep last night. My mind didn't want to shut off. I replayed so many things over and over in my head. I don't think you realize how hard it was for me not to give in to temptation. But I'm losing sight of the reasoning behind why i didn't. The only thing I know is that no matter what, this is gonna be hard because I'm beginning to realize that's just the way things are. That doesn't mean I'm going to break down though. I'm lucky enough to know that I was raised well and I have a strong sense of self. And because of these things I just have to trust that I'm going to make it. Even if I fall I know that I can pick myself up again or at least have people that will be there for me. I have 2 classes until the weekend. Although weekends are different when your roommates are working. I can't wait til I'm working and the days are busier but at the same time sometimes I just wish time would stand still.

Too much wine + a cell phone= BAD LIFE CHOICES