Wednesday, May 30, 2007

You might bend till you break......then you stand

The ups and downs of living on your own are extreme. One second I am thinking to myself "can i really do this" and the next I am getting ready for my day singing along to CMT, planning my day in my head. The thing I need to remember is that if I were in Pennsylvania I would not be happy. I do not mean that in a degrading way to the state of Pennsylvania as some people seem to think I do. I have nothing against the state and I have a life there during the school year but I know in my heart it is not the place I want to be in the long run. I am a west coast girl at heart I know that for sure.
I think I miss you more than you miss me....but I am not sure if I miss you for the right reasons and that kinda freaks me out. I cannot let go of you because I am fighting change. I have this theory about change. We all hate it. We are creatures of habit. But I believe it's only those who embrace that change and continue to grow that prosper in this life. I am learning that for myself in order to fully embrace that change and begin to grow I have to establish small amounts of habits so my entire world is not change. There have to be some constants. With that said and my first day of job training completed I am going to finish my training in the next couple of days and begin a journey. Where it will take me I have no idea but that is what life is about. I realize I am so blessed in so many ways especially just to have this opportunity so if I do not embrace it I will whole-heartedly regret it.
Guess it is about time I grew up.
peace and love to all :)

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