HAPPY BIRTHDAY

My sis is 18 today! Happy birthday Linus I love you and miss you and I will be seeing you in less than a week and I can't wait.
I can't believe she is so old. I'm gonna be 20. Weird. Except I feel like I'm older because all my friends are older.


Stressful week. Almost everything is done except....Test Friday and Paper due next week. Then it's all about my first trip to Florida. It's been so incredibly nice here and I love it. I miss the warmth it makes me happy. I can't wait for this summer!!!!!!
It's gonna be hard to leave though.
<3

Things about to be improving these days

This post is dedicated to my friend Gwen. Thanks for pulling me out of it.
I lost myself recently.
I was rude and mean and gossipy. I got caught up in it. Not for me to get caught up in.
To anyone I said anything bad about I apologize.
I used to find the best in people and lately I've been picking at the worst.
There's nothing like a talk with an old friend to pull you out of it. Connecting with people is one of my most favorite things. When someone shares a feeling you feel so strongly...nothing better.
I'm going back to school tomorrow probably I haven't yet decided. But before I do I just want to belt out some songs like the good old days.
No more hatred. Just love.
For now I'm just gonna enjoy some Jackson Browne and watch the snow fall.

sometimes once is not enough

I was reading about the top ten wedding photographers in my American Photo. Who are all spectacular and I know idolize. Anyways, I came across this quote that was written by Anais Nin. And I thought how come that name is so damn familiar. Then a melody began in my head and Jewels voice started singing....'and you can be Henry Miller and I'll be Anias Nin.' I have sang this sung countless times and each time thought to myself 'I wonder who Anias Nin IS' Not only was I curious who this woman was because of that song but this was the quote "We don't see things as they are. We see things as we are." Intriguing thought. I like it. Turns out Ms. Nin is a French author most famous for her diaries and eroticism.... I'm interested now going to research more on this woman's life. Which would be incredibly logical for Jewel to reference her. I might have to look into reading something of hers.

Keep a fire burning in your eye

Home.
Restless.
Due to the fact that I've been confined to my house for the past few days. Saturday I came home from school later in the evening and Sunday I just laid low. Yesterday I woke up and that wonderful flu that's been making its way around finally made it's way into my body....not a fun experience. Today has been much better as I can eat...and we all know how much I love to do that :) My body aches and my stomach is still weak. The headache I acquired yesterday is still there and only shrinks in pain upon taking the advil.
TV has become too common of a thing. I know I needed a day of rest but three is a bit much. Tomorrow I am going to follow my mom to get her car fixed and then take a well deserved shopping extravaganza. Don't worry dad I'll spend my own money.
Oh the power of music. Sometimes I feel like my religion is music. There is almost nothing better than connecting with a song and just singing and being at perfect peace. I've been kind of blah since I came home. The pieces to my summer adventure are starting to fall into place. I am incredibly excited and extremely scared but I know this is going to be a once in a lifetime experience. I will be so much happier than if I would have stayed here. Not to say that there are not people I'm going to miss but in reality how often would have seen them anyways. Last summer I worked and slept and that was it. My cousins soon to be wife Katie just wrote me a comment on myspace and said how excited she was that I was coming. Sometimes I forget how the simplest act of kindness can brighten someones day. Smiles all around I'm off to try and stomach a grilled cheese. mmmmm

If I don't say this now I will surely break

When did life become so complicated? I am not the same person that I was 2 years ago. This is a good thing believe me.... but there is a certain innocence and unawareness about the world I miss a little. Not that I have lost any curiosity towards so much in this world but the more you live the more you learn. I don't expect to know everything. I believe there no right or wrong because there's always a little of both. With all the good things going on in my life I still can help but ask...is this what I want? Do I want to be in this state at this time still? Can I stay here for a few more years? There's so much I miss but I know going back won't immediately fill that void and potentially won't. I'm trying to appreciate what I have because I know it is far more than a lot. I'm tired of being superficial and talking shit...that needs to stop....find the good in the people because there is some there even if sometimes it is suppressed. I need to stop listening so much to what other people say and do what I believe because ultimately that is what makes me happy and what makes me....Me.
I am about to make my way back to Kutztown because I just can't get enough of that place. Just kidding of course....who would I be without my sarcasm...is that sad?
DESTINATIONS in KTOWN: weis, home, post office and wherever my camera takes me
DESTINATIONS this week: shopping for some type of clothing, manyunk with mom, NYC with the girls
The sun is shinning and although it's cold it feels like warmth is right around the corner. <3

All things must pass

Listening to: Concert for George
Includes wonderful artists like Tom Petty, Eric Clapton, Billy Preston, Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr and others including George's son Dhani Harrison.
Good album. good songs. good guy.
My favorite songs are Isn't a Pity and All Things Must Pass.

My room is halfway clean right now...the good news is the floor is vacuumed. I haven't made my way to the closet yet but that's quite a mess to tackle. Gym date with Steph at 3 (less than an hour) so we'll see what happens with this cleaning spree I almost had. My midterms are done and I can finally breathe again.
I was sitting in the library studying for my last one yesterday afternoon. I always sit in the little nooks by the windows with tables. I spread my stuff out, took off my shoes, got out my white cheddar popcorn and made myself comfy. After a few minutes I looked out the window and the snow that had been falling all morning was still lightly floating to the ground all around. I had one of those moments....when you just feel like you are in the right place at the right time. It was such a college experience and I love that.
I love it when my friends call me Al which they've been doing a lot lately out of no where.
Tomorrow we are going to Sushi, to a movie and Steph's friends are coming and we are all gonna have a grand old time. I am excited.
Happy almost friday all!

Destressing

It's been awhile...I've been busy with school and stressing my self out about stuff that I don't need to be stressed about. I've never been like that before...I mean I stress like the rest of the world but only when it's necessary. Oh well I needed this weekend to calm down and that I definitely did. Fun times at my house with the girls, wine and a scrumptious crab feast. I spent all day today painting and watching Entourage. Tomorrow is gonna be stressful but after Wednesday I'm pretty much done with school for about a week and a half.
It's my dish week and now I'm gonna do a sink full of dishes.
Just breathe.
Take it one day at a time.

<3<3

This is the Forcast

We all do things we regret. I regret some of the choices I've made but I wouldn't go back and change anything if I could. These mistakes are the things that make us grow and learn that maybe next time when a similar situation arises....we should try things differently.
I feel like I'm stuck. Stuck in a rut. Stuck in a monotonous way of life. Stuck with no words. I can't continue to live like this. For some of you reading this it might sound weird knowing that I can be really shy upon meeting new people....but I'm not always. The thing is I get restless. I don't like living the same day twice. I need to learn new things and I thought my classes would help in this...since I took them to fulfill interests I have. But it's not working I need more. I need to go places and do new things. I come from a small town with a city a boat ride away. I took advantage of that secluded area and focused inward and I regret that.....maybe that is something I would change. I wish I had gone to that city more and explored....because now I wish that city was a ferry boat away and I could explore. The good thing is Steph and Stacey like to explore too. Steph and Jack went to goggleworks yesterday in Reading...it sounds cool I wanna go. We tried to go to the crayola factory but the times didn't like us. Tonight I'm going to watch Jack's little brother Matt play basketball for Alvernia. I'm super excited. I like basketball. My schedule is full today and I like it that way but the one person I need to sort more things out with is not involved in these plans and for that I'm a little bit irritated.
I don't need to feel like I'm 2 inches tall anymore. I can't and I won't.

Subtle like a Mack truck

Thanks to my mother I've inherited this lovely trait of being 'subtle like a mack truck' as my dad likes to call it. Although it takes time for me to be this way with people...usually. I think it's a good quality to have though because you are true to yourself and ultimately that's the most important thing. Take me or leave me.
Payonk and I finally made it to the gym after weeks of talking about it. It's always better when you get there even if you forget your id card and eventually have to pretend your name is Stacey Strayer for awhile. We are going tomorrow....so proud of us. That reminds me that I miss playing soccer more than anything else from my past....besides living on the west coast.
Speaking of that glorious coast....things are starting to fall into place for my summer out there and I can't wait I wish I was there RIGHT NOW. I need it...I have a lot to get through until then...approx. 9 weeks of classes and a week of finals. I'm steadily busy and I like that. I want more out of life than this little town gives me....starting to get restless.
Here's a couple pics of the big snow storm from around campus.

So there's this guy I like to call Dad

Home for the long weekend with my two dogs and my dad.
Everyone went home and I said there's no place I'd rather be.
After a failure of a movie yesterday and all day studying today, my good old pops made me dinner. Salmon....mmmmm and I made the salad. We sat at the cute little table in our kitchen and chatted about life and religion and how the hell our world got to this state of anger and hatred. If I find myself a guy like my dad I would be so lucky. He's just such a well rounded good guy and I'm incredibly lucky to have him as a father for I feel he has made me a good person too (not to say my mom didn't help with that too). I always talk about him to my friends as my little fashion bug father who likes shopping more than I do :) but he's more than that. I think one of the most annoying thing about men is their ego and while it's practically impossible to overcome that my dad is an incredibly humble person who realizes he's like everyone else in that he has faults as well. I love you dad even with your crazy hair and bandannas!
<3

Happy Valentine's Day

It's 10am.
I've been up for an hour.
...partially because of the rain/hail that has been hitting my window all night and partially because I went to be at 12 and took an almost 3 hour nap yesterday so I guess I'm not tired anymore.

The good news is that it is Valentine's Day and classes are cancelled because of the previous mentioned 'shitty' weather...not really sure why I decided that need quotes.

On the more depressing side of things this weather is forcing my mom to delay her trip to California until tomorrow. Keep her in your thoughts that everything goes smoothly tomorrow because her heart is in San Diego along with her family and my sister as of today.

Not really sure what I'm up to today. I was planning on getting up early and finishing my reading and a couple things I had to write but now that I don't have to finish these things by today it seems a waste. Wednesdays are my least favorite day too but today it's a whole lot better. Oh yeah and LOST is on tonight!

Love the one you're with!

<3

Linus you gave me a necklace similar to this right before we left the west.

I didn't wear it for all that long and I know you didn't either. But lately I've been missing you and I found the necklace in my room and it hasn't come off since. I carry you heart.

I carry you're heart with me (I carry it in my heart)
I am never without it (anywhere I go you go, my dear, and whatever is done my only me is your doing, my darling)
I fear no fate (For beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatver a sun will always sing is you

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life, which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wondere that's keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)

EE Cummings


Love you sissy!

So theraputic I needed to do it twice

It's been one of those days. Nothing goes quite right. Little things tick away at me and bring me down. It was so cold I would consider living in a sauna. I think I need a new camera. A manual for 10 bucks would be nice. Working on that this weekend. Crayola Factory Fri. (hopefully).
I don't know what I'd do without

This girl. Syd is one of my friends from high school. We were never that close but over the summer when I first moved east we talked through emails A LOT. She stayed home from college her first year and moved back to Sacramento with her dad due to health. Now she's doing wonderfully and she moved to NYC for acting school and lives in Brooklyn. I can't even wait till it gets warmer so I can go visit her. She always puts a smile on my face like almost no one else can do! Too bad she doesn't read this but if she did I say thank you for getting me through some tough times!

Julian Beever's 3D Sidewalk Art

Check it out!
Click above to see other cool illusions!

Have a spectacular day!

Here's to those that aren't always on our minds

Always looking for a cause to support Stacey and I read this article in Rolling Stone about the terrible things that are happening in Tibet as I type this.


We then looked for some way to contribute to the Tibetan freedom from the oppressive Chinese. What we found was this website dedicated to students looking to support Tibetans.
We bought these
it's a bracelet made by a Tibetan nun to raise awareness. The short blurb it comes with includes the something to the effect of....Today it is worn as an expression of endurance and defiance against the Chinese government. I always wish I could do more for things like these but at least these people are in my thoughts. Hopefully their fight to maintain there culture results in peace and an even stronger Tibet.

These girls are on my mind a lot recently.

The one on the left is of course my sister and the one on the right is Gretchen, one of my sister's friends. She was around our house a lot in the last couple years I was in high school and was always so sweet and smiling. She's struggling with her health and I hope she knows she's in my thoughts and I know she can overcome this because she has already overcome SO much.
I love you both if you are reading this!
Until we meet again memories are all we have.

I miss getting comments from people.....so leave some about things or people on your mind or whatever you feel.

<3To all those I miss<3

Pretty little bird sat on my window. Told me I don't need to worry.

Tomorrow is February.

Life flies by so fast. The moments you want to hold on too don't always slow down enough for you to enjoy them.

Lately we've been getting flurries all the time and just a little snow will stick.....it makes me happy. I would like just one big snow though with a cancelled day of classes....a big snow ball fight with all the neighbors and then some good hot chocolate like the kind Denis let me and Stace have yesterday...mmm.

I made it to the gym with Steph and Jen yesterday. Steph woke me up from my power nap by flicking my light on and off...she makes me laugh everyday. Then we convinced ourselves going to the gym was a good thing. We ran a mile and I did 170 sit ups and now I feel like I should have a six pack.....not quite, that will never happen. We are going to look at a house today and I'm excited because this is probably our last chance to get out of the cliffs....either way I'm happy. It's not like I can go to the bar anyways :(

I almost fell asleep in my photo class yesterday....I could have passed out in that chair for a good 2 hours. It's only because I slept at Denis' and Parke woke me up singing at 6 in the morning....that would drive me nuts I don't know how he deals with it every morning. Then I slept badly after that and finally got up and walked in the cold to painting. Jenna never misses class....she's neurotic like that.. and she wasn't there I hope she's ok.

Alright I must get ready to engage my mind in some religious philosophical thoughts.
All I wanna do is take pictures.

:P

Old Picture

<3 you make me smile

Slow down you crazy child

It's Wednesday already. Monday I found myself sitting around and feeling like something was missing. I get homesick every once in awhile. I don't necessarily mean for my 'home' here, I mean for the west. I've probably talked about this numerous times but it's something I think about more than people realize. I feel I was meant to be here for now but I get thinking about my coast and I miss it. This semester is everything I want it too be....interesting and challenging but I still find myself complaining about class. Then I realize what the hell am I complaining about....There's nothing worse than sitting in a class and counting down the minutes. I'm trying to live in the now because later will come soon enough. I'm enjoying my classes a lot and I really like being here but I'm so excited for this summer I just want to skip over this semester...weird.
I am so blessed. I have more than a person could ask for and when I find myself in those moments where I can't help but just feel sad I can only wonder WHY.
So I went home for dinner last night. I was just what I needed. Mom and I went in the hot tub and just talked about stuff...I don't know what I'd do without you mom. Don't worry we'll make it back to San Diego :)
I have class in a bit for 4 and a half hours then I'm gonna try and get to the gym because my body needs it badly. When I get back I'm going to relax and go to sleep early because 8am's are killing me. Hopefully I get to see you today.

Seems like nothing is black and white anymore,
shades of gray and
I feel a weight over my shoulder
it's tough gettin older

Seems like nothing is black and white anymore

Listening to: Colbie Caillat.
I've been listening to her a lot lately because she has a gorgeous voice. She's got that whole I'm just a girl with a guitar feel....love it. You can find her on myspace...which is where I discovered her. good stuff.

Ok so I should be reading for my religious studies class but I haven't written in awhile because the first week of school was nutso. I think I'm going to enjoy all of my classes and they are gonna challenge me in the way that I need. Knowledge is power. mwhahahaaa. :)

Yesterday the Stace, Steph, Jack and I piled in a car and tried to make our way to watchThis guy play hockey. After getting lost for a good 20 minutes made our way toward the sovereign center while the snow was falling. Steph and I had never watched a hockey game before and I've gotta say I would watch more. It was fun. The guys get so into it and go after each other instead of the puck...Stacey loved it haha. Anyway they won, it was awesome.
Off to another week of classes...just taking it a day at a time.

Drunken Blog

Back at schooooool! I love it. I love my friends and the laughs. We sit around and talk about stupid shit that we find important and as weird as it is it brings us closer. We got drunk tonight and watched finding nemo and aladdin......good times. This semester is gonna be a challenge in a good way and I'm excited! Ok I will def write more tomorrow when im in the right mind set but I just want to say that I love my friends for all that they are!!!!!! Keep smiling because we are living the good life.
<3