Change

I moved my room around.

I guess I was hoping it'd feel like a fresh start. And it does. It also feels like an end. The feelings I've felt within the last couple days were unexpected and sentimental. Throughout this semester I've never felt scared about being thrust into the adult world full of responsiblity where fun often takes a back seat. Probably because I had already been living that life. Mostly. But today it feels like my few things I'm grasping onto in order to feel like this is home are slowly slipping away. Now I'm not saying this is completely a bad thing though because I think it's the change that I need. We all know how much human nature objects to change. It's not natural to feel like things aren't comfortable although in the outcome you will feel that way again or at least a general feeling of happiness. I'm working on making peace with this end and moving forward with my new beginning. It does feel like it all happend so fast. I guess it would help if I keep telling myself that since I got through the horrors of Rome I can get through just about anything.

Walking and Graduation

Today I have completed my college education. I have not walked yet or recieved my diploma but the work is done. I am excited, relieved, exhausted, tired of sneezing from the crazy blooming around the town. So many emotions and feeling like I should be doing something to celebrate. The parents just returned from Italy and as I type are drifting into dreamland. I decided to celebrate on my own but beginning season 4 of Gilmore Girls. As previously mentioned (I believe) I am working my way through the 7 seasons of my favorite world to revisit again and again. This episode I am about to watch contains the return of the GGs to the US after backpacking through Europe in celebration of Rory's graduation from high school. It seems only apropriate to watch as I am looking for a celebration myself. So in finding myself stumbling around the web I ran into this article.... http://www.good.is/post/walking-the-walk/?gt1=48001 it is about people who walked across the country. Most of them for a cause but how perfect is it that 2 of the main factors of the episode happen to intertwine with the real world. So off I am to Stars Hallow CT, with maybe a little Rome scrap booking on the side.

Hot Tub Thoughts

As the buds appear on my favorite silhouette against the sky it feels like the clouds in the distance are soon to part. My thoughts are calm but many. The world seems as if I'm looking at it with fresh eyes. Perhaps that's what it is because that is in fact what I am doing. It has been a long time since I've felt this strong. My mother always told me that she found I changed a lot with in the months before my birthday. I don't know if that is true this year but my outlook on life certainly has. The positivity spark I've been missing has been found again and I feel lighter and happier than I have in almost a year. The joy I find in little things is back.

Suddenly a squirrel scrambles down the tree to my right, to the suet he craves even after he's devoured the entire thing. Leaving none for the birds. I stare straight at him and shaking my head I say, " Don't even think about it." It stops him dead in his tracks. He seems to think that although our eyes are locked I cannot see him because he is still. " Turn around," I say and he scurries back up the tree. He pops his head out a few feet up, "I can still see you." The head retreats and a few seconds later he appears many feet above on a large branch.

I stare out across the yard and through the trees that in a matter of weeks times will have leaves on them. The feeling will change but it will be welcome after the months of frozen forest world. Off in the distance the birds have already begun to sing their songs. I envision myself doing yoga on the back deck as the wind blows through the trees. It's my favorite place here. I can't wait for that again. I find myself composing the lines of a story and realize after the cold winter months, it is time again that I write my blog.